September 7- Auspicious Occasion

Sept. 7th is an important day, in an F2 sort of way. It was, I believe, 47 years ago when my Dad, George T. H. married my Mom,Christie A.R. transforming her into Christie R. H. I, of course, was not present yet, but from the few photos I've seen, they were married in my grandparent's living room, my Dad wearing his West Point uniform, my mother in a pretty, intricate dress and white gloves, a delicate hat perched on her coif. It is interesting to think about your parents as young people. Logic tells you they once were, but experience tells you they know way more than a young person like you ever did... and somehow in time you get the experience that tells you the logic is true.

My parents are still married. It seems to me the closest they came to not staying married was during the years my father spent in the army, post Point, in Vietnam. Uncertain years when a gal could not be secure in seeing her husband again. During those years, along with uncertainty, they had two girls- my elder sisters. My Mom had to make a decision- finish college, or stay at home with the babies. Unsure if she'd see their father walk through the door again, she made the difficult choice of going back to school, leaving her two babies in her parent's care.
But, he did make it home, and out of the U.S. Army. They were apart again at the occasion of my birth, Dad finishing up his Masters of Nuclear Engineering at M.I.T., my mother back at her parent's in Virginia to have help with the first two while having number three. Makes you think what Dad would've done to avoid birth #4 had it ever happened. If I had a younger sibling, my Dad might also have a PhD. 
When I think of what my parents gave me, by being married, I realize I was given a many layered gift. First of all, I am not among the cynical- single or married, who think it isn't really possible to be happily married. And, I understand commitment. 47 years is a long time. Lots of stuff happens in 47 years. Good stuff, not so good stuff. Life has bad. And lots of good. Life means breathing, the rest is what you make of it.

Can-Can Can-doing their way through life..with grandchildren

When I was in Vet School, I was dating a good friend, turned boyfriend. He also had married parents, but they had a different marriage. I don't remember his parents ever really talking, touching, even making eye contact. I think it had been that kind of relationship his entire life. One night we went out on a date and came back to my house afterward. We went to find my parents to tell them I was home and that we were going to hang out in the sunroom on the worlds most uncomfortable antique wicker couch, and watch the little 12" tele. I knocked on the door to my father's library- the door closed, as in that wonderful, old, Connecticut house, you heated each room individually by fireplace. Doors stayed closed. We entered, and my parents were curled up on the couch, spoon fashion, under a warm afghan, watching a movie. They asked how our night went, my date, silent, and we left them to their own evening. My boyfriend was steaming mad. Why? I didn't understand what had gone awry. Upon inquiry, I found his ire was due to me "putting my parents up to that". What??? Cuddling. AS IF I had any control over my parents. Sure. It turned out he thought there was an elaborate plot afoot to make him believe marriage could be enjoyable. My parents held hands- plot. My parents talked to one another-plot. They went off for walks together after dinner -ooooh, nefarious.
Even though we dated for a while longer, I think it was then I realized we'd never be on the same page. My husband was going to believe in magic before I married him.  My parents had not given me a reason to disbelieve.
It is a gift that has allowed me to create a happy marriage with my husband -also a believer.( His parents will celebrate 50 years of finishing each other's sentences next year. )
47 years of marriage yielded three children, all married, to the original spouse. 100 years of marriage combined. Pretty awesome legacy. Congratulations Mom and Dad. Congratulations Stephanie and Devin. Congratulations David and Elizabeth. And to me and mine.