We wish you a merry Crutchmas!

This picture is totally sideways. I can't seem to make it go up and down. But, I timed out on trying, since you probably can't tell what it is anyway.

Well, what time is it?
"CHRISTMASTIME!" You say?
True. But in this case it is also Crutching Time. This is the time of year when I spend a few hours sitting on an upturned bucket patiently clipping the wool off the back end and belly of the ewes. This makes them look like mythical creatures, you know, front end of a sheep, hind legs of a chicken (will post a post-crutching shot when I finish). But it is in preparation for the babies! I don't know when the babies will come. The first possible due date is in January, (January 2) but I suspect they won't lamb until after that. I do think they're pregnant. Well, Dolores, at least is looking a bit wider, especially when she lies down.Dancer is always broad, so harder to assess.  And, yes, we are special with the not knowing thing. Most folks who are sheep centric keep a marking harness on the ram. It attaches like a front baby carrier. When he mounts a particular sheep, she'll get a big orange, or blue, or red, whatnot, streak on the top of her rump. Then, you mark in your records the day(s) she was bred. Then, you count 143 days from then, ( the short side of the gestation period) and you can pretty much know when she will have her lambs. We, on the other hand, feel bad for Cesar, and don't want him to be lonely. So, not only do we not use a marker on the sheep - do I really want blue striped ewes? We also leave him in their company for a long time. So... the last lambing dates will be May 28. But, with the first possible date looming...it's crutching time!
Luckily, as the lambies won't be hanging out with their dad, I don't have to try to crutch the ram. The ewes are more patient.
The crutching process has two parts:

• Get all the wool and twisted bits of oil and poop off the back end of the sheep and around the udders. This is so the lambs don't starve themselves nursing on useless poop teats.
• Don't cut the sheep

That last one is tricky. Wool, by it's nature on these Border Leicesters is thick. This is good for spinning, but bad for blind hacking away with scissors. And, in great contrast, their skin is quite thin. Just a step above bunny rabbit. Thus, if you pull at the wool with one hand and slice with the other, you can quite easily take off elliptical chunks of sheep. Now, I'm not arrogant enough to think this won't happen to me. I am careful, and I work with animal skin for a living, so am attuned to it. Still, I have to pay close attention, and I keep suture on hand. I am pretty handy with sutures- another perk of the job.
If I had clippers this would be a few minute job. and much neater, too. But, an investment in shearing clippers when we have such a small flock has not been a priority. So, instead, the beautiful ewes will look like they were attacked by a rogue lawnmower with a penchant for rear-ends.
And I, instead of baking cookies and making merry, will be systematically chopping off poopwool.
G-L-A-M-O-R-ous...Glamorous, the Glamorous, Glamorous- that's me!