My Eating Disorder? VAD.

I have an eating disorder. I don't' know if it has a name. So, lets name it. Hmmm. It's kinda like morning sickness all the time, but not as nauseous. I start stressing every morning about what I am going to scrape together for dinner, because nothing sounds good, appetizing. But, once I have food in front of me, I've no problem putting it away! Sometimes I go to the market and wander around, hoping for inspiration, or browse the magazine rack "PAULA DEEN'S DELICOUS EATING!" ,"Food Connoisseur", "Gluten-Free Baking" and see gooey treats or blackened kale with truffle oil, and blah. I wander the produce section saying to myself "So, what can I do with carrots? " or, "Avocados look ripe... what would I do with an avocados?" And, sometimes divine fortune smiles upon me and I think of something! Red peppers will speak to me "Roast me, and toss me with olive oil and feta cheese...then gobs of fresh basil and broil me on some bread.." and I will do so, and my husband will think I'm brilliant and normal.
Instead, many nights I think about what to serve all day, and still, still, when Huz gets home I got nuthin'. NOT A PLAN. Some nights I go for a cover, and put rice on the stove. It's a base. If I come up with zip, zero, a can a black beans on the rice and a tub of sour cream keep the family from mutiny. Of course, I am leaving out a few things in pursuit of a name for my dyscrasia. Namely, that both Huz and Youngest are formidable in the kitchen. They are aces at putting dinner on the table. Without them, the past 5 Thanksgiving dinners would have consisted of a plate of mashed potatoes and a side of cornflakes. But, aside from their possible role as enablers, I don't think they are germane to the question at hand. A term for my inability to find a desirable foodstuff.
So. I have VAD: Vapid Appetance Disorder
There ya go.


I know my changes in diet have indubitably helped my health. VAD may be a side effect?
(For those of you fortunate enough to have not attempted to cook for me, go to a restaurant or give me a "Hey, ya want some?" treat, I am, well, difficult. To make a long list short, I usually call my diet a "gluten-free, vegetarian, whole food diet"...with a few food allergies to things that are ridiculous. Who is allergic to cucumbers???? OH, and for those of you unfortunate to try and go anywhere or do anything with me prior to my dietary changes? I am truly, deeply, forever sorry. And if you are still my friend you forever have my respect. I owe you one. Or more. Depending. HOW did Huz put up with me all those years?)
If VAD is what I have to deal with it is vastly better than what I lived with before.
As for today's menu suffering? It was one of those "Go to the market and wander about" days. I eventually decided on stuffing some Delicata squash. And then I saw some ciabatta that looked like my family would approve. This fleshed out to be a dinner of Mahi-Mahi with roasted red peppers on ciabatta and roasted Delicata squash stuffed with fresh spinach pesto and walnuts. My portion will forgo the ciabatta. I do eat fish ( I don't muddy with waters with being a "pescatarian") .  Lest you think I have VAD due to some puerile notion that in order for food to be delicious I must eat like a hipster or Latte-Leftie...today for lunch I was perfectly satisfied with left over butternut squash soup (thank you, Huz) and some red grapes. Hmhn. That sounded pretty latte-like. For breakfast I had a plain scrambled egg? True, I did not have a side of shot-it-myself-venison sausage, but that is because, well, I'd be ill. So, as for a reason for the VAD? Open to suggestions!
Life is learning.

Theirs. Mine had no bun. But delish! And, I highly recommend the soft, sweet Delicata squash with the rich walnut, spinach pesto. It still didn't sound good, but it sure did taste fine.