Earlier this month, my sister and I hopped in the car for an adventure north to Ohio. The occasion was the celebration beginnings for affianced Middlest. There are times in my life where I feel both very integral and peripheral. I am both in the moment, and watching as a spectator. This seems to be one of those times. My sister pointed out I have a new title in Mother Of (the) Bride. What kind of MOB do you want to be? Certainly not a MOB Boss, I aspire to be a boss MOB;
Show up,
Help where I am needed,
Inspire confidence,
Try to enjoy all the wonder.
In this instance, I was the (S.H.I.T.) boss MOB to which I aspire, facilitated by Eldest and my (unofficial) adopted daughter, KZ having put together this celebration down to the smallest detail. Eldest is the Maid of Honor for the wedding, and took on the traditional task of organizing a bridal shower with aplomb. She wisely teamed up with KZ and combined their creativity, energy and joy to make a personal and beautiful party to fête the bride!
Although, the tradition of the bridal shower, as a way to help a bride get started in a new, adult life with gifts for the new home being created at marriage is less necessary now that many brides have begun an independent adult life, with their own homes prior to marriage, it is still important to have the support of the family, friends and community. A bridal shower is one show of that support and love.
It was a really fine idea to make the shower a Christmas one. The Christmas theme means that for the rest of their lives, as they decorate the home or tree for the holidays, the decorations will hold many memories from the start of their lives together, reminding them of all the folks who love them.
I am a "house girl'. I thrive while making my house feel welcoming and loved. The gifts from my own wedding are still, 27 years later, part of that. When I move the lamp, given to us by Mr. and Mrs. R., I remember them, and our wedding. When I present a meal on the beautifully dressed table with our wedding china and sparkling crystal, it feels like the table itself is a record in fragile gifts, of love and support for our family. When I wind the clock from my grandparents, or put out grapes in the calla lily bowl from the F.'s, it is little touchstones to the connections that ground our lives and give us the history that nourishes.
Christmas will forever be a reminder of that network of love for Middlest and her husband. The "most wonderful time of the year" indeed!
In an inspired plan, they chose to host the party at the Tudor-Gothic style, 1920's stone built iconic Wagnalls Memorial Library in Lithopolis, Ohio. This was the library closest to Cowfeathers Farm, and where the kids did many story times on Wednesday mornings. It is where we would go in the summers and take out enormous stacks of books- Mom rule: if you can carry it yourself, you can check it out of the library. And, where many lessons in consequences and economics took place; you can't check out books if you have overdue books or fines! Wagnalls was one of those mystical places for my children, who are devout bibliophiles still. Middlest's career aspirations back then, and perhaps, still, were to become the most august of humans- a librarian.
So, having the shower at Wagnalls was a slice of perfection pie.
Also, KZ happens to be an amazing photographer. She can plan parties AND take great pics. These photos are nearly all hers!
So it was hard to get her out from behind the camera and in front. We managed it with this photo of our two families. These women make a lovely party!
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| There was plenty of festive food. Christmas cookie favorites, and a Hot Chocolate Bar kept things sweet. But, when I said they thought of everything, they even had a teapot with my favorite tea! |
The tables were beautifully set with plaid and garlands, festive favors and a ready trivia game to measure how well we know the bride and groom.
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| Guests brought a favorite recipe for the new couple, and contributed to a "date night jar" by scripting a date idea on a tongue depressor stick. |
The beautiful tree was soon surrounded by festive gifts!
And the bride!
Surround yourselves with family, friends and laughter!
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Well done, girls.
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Me and my sweet girls. And, I realize, here is a representation of me, as spectator. Because I am looking at the photos of the family, and wondering "
where the heck is my sister?" I mean, she is there, somewhere, but " MOB Boss" would have been
on it. She would have made sure she was in this photo. Since I have decided instead to be "boss MOB", I S.howed up, H.elped with my smile, I.nspired confidence and will T.ry to be happy with that.
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| Middlest with her gorgeous in-laws! |
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| I was so thankful to get this chance to be with the other Mother and one of Middlest's soon-to-be Sister-in-laws! It was a delight to meet these women, and I look forward to the wedding all the more. |
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The Bridesmaids (minus one).
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So, the parties for these two have begun, and the planning continues. I'm sure. But not my job. As boss MOB I am ready to Show up for whatever, Help however I can, Inspire confidence where possible and Try to enjoy the ride!
