It's a bit like hearing "READY OR NOT HERE I COME!" in a game of hide and seek- that moment of indecision that meant you had no place to hide and time was up.
It's Christmas, ready or not. And, I'm not feeling unprepared with any of the material things. We have bagels and lox for breakfast, homemade bear claws, our wonderful eggs and the harvest of potatoes. I have plenty of gifts to nestle under the tree, packed stockings,even for some of the critters. Tucker will have new doggie toys, the ponies have a few excellent treats, the barn cats have tins of 9 Lives. Santa will certainly come and bring something special for the children. The pajama elves came while we were at evening church clutching candles and singing "Silent Night" and the kids are attired in new and snuggly peace signs, rubber ducks and soccer ball motifs. We are "ready" for Christmas morning.
But here is where I am stuck out in the open, having squandered my time trying to decide between ducking between the grandfather clock and the wall, or going under the dollhouse table; I haven't had enough contemplative time. I love Christmas, and the promise of it all, and the baby that was, and the wowza of a story about a young mother riding a donkey and a star and a barn- things with which I can identify. The angel of the Lord, and the travelling Magi are out of my experience, but add such mystique. I love to think about this time of year. It is so cold, and yet, each day begins with such urgency and plans, it isn't a crippling cold- yet. I love the music of the holidays. Particularly the old carols- The Boar's Head, and old recorded versions of Ave Maria. Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker and anything sung by Bing Crosby or Andy Williams- or the Ray Coniff Singers! That brings back childhood magic as much as Rudolph and Frosty. I love the tree in all it's color and business, and the tree in my sunroom for its simplicity. I love the nesting and the visiting and the contact. And when Christmas goes, the carols do too, the tree starts looking like a pain in the livingroom, and the cold is-cold. The celebration of the birth of the baby, moves past too. A new year will be here, full of unimagined delights and potential darkness. I crave to hold on to the delight of Christmas Eve, that moment, just before the top of the roller coaster- when in anticipation, you have sensed, but not experienced. But, I'm not in control of this anymore than I am the roller coaster. You're just strapped in for the ride. Lifting my arms.......................
No comments:
Post a Comment