A real gift.

As they say, the best gifts are you ones you give. Some gifts are so wonderful to receive, that needs be you give them on. Today, I am giving you a real gift. It was given to me last month by my father-in-law. Thank you, Opa, for letting me share. I have treasured it,  held it and decided to give it to you now. Why now? Well, Youngest informs me that there are 10 days until Christmas Eve. I suspect that many of you are scrambling to get "everything done". That you feel the need to head to Target looming large in your schedule. For any of you who are not relishing every moment of this Christmas Season, feeling stressed, pushed. Treasure this.
It is perspective. Love. Generosity. Fear. Hope and faith holding fast in the cold belly of hunger and despair. It is a letter written after Christmas from one brother to another during the long winter of 1945 Holland. In 4 months World War II will be "over". Of course, they don't know that.  The author of the letter is my husband's Grandfather, a Pastor, father of 7, husband to Jeanne, our Oma. I am no scholar of WWII, and so fortunate to have been born well after, but I believe the V2 rockets he writes of were particularly feared because they were long range ballistic missiles that appeared out of nowhere at close to 1800mph. Without being dropped from planes, they had little or no warning before hitting and devastating their target. Read it more than once, you will reap the rewards. And, get a tissue.
"First all the lights have to go out before the eyes open up for the big light."
We live in the big light.

WWII letter from Vader Drost [Henry Jacobus Drost, 1902-1960]

            Written on ~5 January 1945 [~ 4 months before the end of the war, 05 May 1945] to one of his brothers.

Dear Willem and Annie

            Time is past due to write you and thank you very, very much for the excellent major service you have provided us by sending us wheat, beans, and peas. Frankly, let me write you how much it touched me and how the concept “brother” took on a much deeper meaning and a wonderfully warm perspective. You have really spoiled us and done us a world of good. Things are becoming increasingly uncertain and hunger grips us so severely that you sometimes do not know how or what to do. Now we can supplement a little here and there, and thus keep our family going. You don’t know what it is to live in a city that suffers from famine and cold. From sun up to sun down people come to your door, like a string of appointments, and then there is the misery of the V2 rockets above us and around us. On New Year’s Eve a section of my parish was destroyed by such a monster.

            I thank God that again and again he gives me strength and sufficient optimism and gratitude, and I thank him for Jeanne who remains so valiantly at my side. Sometimes I cannot make any sense out of it. For instance, today I already had my 7^th funeral of the New Year. But let me come to order, and wish you and Annie’s parents a good – that is in God’s eyes – new year. Psalm 118: 5, 6 was the text for New Year’s Eve, and the New Year started with Psalm 46: A mighty fortress is our God. We live by the day but even that holds in a big blessing. And brother Kees, who was here on the 4^th of January, said – correctly in my opinion – “I would not want to miss the spiritual value of this time of emergency.”

            Your packet arrived late, the evening before Christmas. Those poor gentlemen, including Mr Sibiakus, had gone out to forage for themselves, and look, they did not bring hardly anything home for themselves, yet they became willing carriers. But those men had bad luck, a terrible trip via Amsterdam where one bicycle almost broke down which landed them in Oegsgeest where they just put the luggage down, they were exhausted. Later they went to pick it up and they delivered everything here in good shape. I let them share in the gifts to which they objected, but I insisted, those poor guys already had so little themselves, so they accepted.

            On January 4^th the second “brotherly” surprise arrived. Not only Kees, but also brother-in-law Gert from Halle came to the door. Can you imagine, he came on Nel’s bicycle with a basketful of most welcome surprises: eggs, fat, bacon, and flour, Jeanne could not control her emotions anymore. We were just in the midst of the distress of the V2 rocket explosion in the parish. That man really had to bike hard with one solid rear bicycle tire, but how successful God made his trip. He who himself had been under the threat of death was now compelled to save what was salvageable. He thought we looked skinny, but oh what does that mean, seeing him was invigorating, and with those gifts, along with those of from you, we can live. In this we see the hand of a faithful God, and that day our prayers sounded loud and clear.

            A third surprise reached us from the congregation in Kolderveen this week, in the form of a large packet, delivered by none other than Dr Hornstra who lost the entire contents of his house in Arnhem and now has found refuge in Wannerperveen. How does God open the hearts of precisely those who were smitten? He went to the farms around Kolderveen and probably said “that old minister of yours is starving to death” and that brought out the gifts. What a supplement for our almost empty plates. We cannot believe our eyes and we don’t know what’s happening. I am also so happy about all this because so much is physically demanded of me with the Feed the Children Committee, Place the Children Committee, and so it goes day in day out. Now I am able to stay on my feet. Aalten also thought of us with a packet. This way we are catching up.

            From the Potter family we frequently hear news about Oma Snoep who apparently had a stroke, hence gives reason for major concern. It is sad when the light in some sympathetic people begins to dim. I always thought of her as such a true minister’s wife, matured by such a variety of suffering and bad luck around her, and who was always comforting and supportive whenever you encountered her.

            From the unoccupied part of the country we have received neither word nor sign, neither from Breda nor from Nijmwegen. From you only we learned about an evacuation to Belgium. Where are the brothers and how are they doing? Looking at the battle field you do not see a solution in the coming weeks or months. And you always wish for a miracle and you cling to God’s promises. We have to go through the depths and Dr Hornstra correctly wrote: first all the lights have to go out before the eyes open up for the big light. Not a smidgen remains of that self-sufficient, self-serving, well-eating, Netherlands, and now it descends from one humiliation into the next.

            I have heard nothing of the 300 guilders in mission funds sent to the address of Zwier, presumably the Nassau Bank. I also sent money to brother Blok for uncle Adri for the months of Sep, Oct, Nov. Brother Blok wrote that this uncle is going down hill. He suffers from dizziness again and is fading. I suspect that his rations are messing him up too. It is a blessing that he has such good nursing care. You wonder sometimes why these poor old guys live such long lives. At any rate we know that he is a gift of God and that each time He wants to lead us to mercy and pity. The latter is for me easier to accept for Adri than for aunt Pietje who can be very irritating.

            I completely forgot [to acknowledge] your kind offer to take in one of our boys. We cannot come to an agreement about that. Jan Willem [14] would like to get out, and he would be an excellent worker, a boy who loves to help, and in many areas is able to help. But just in times of need like now you would like to keep these little guys together. And when we look at the children, they can make it. Some are certainly undernourished, but now that they are getting some good calories again, things are going well again.  So we will wait a while. Transportation is also a problem and I am not able to bring them. However, should we be unable to manage it any longer here, I think I will risk it and will send you one or two boys.

            Enough, I’ll stop talking. Again thank you very much. Greetings to all of you from all of us.

God dedicated,